After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Couch. On fire.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
