i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
