I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
