They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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