sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
love makes seman taste better
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
