I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you inspire me to be a worse person
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
