What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
