I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
