I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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