My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
