But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
