For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
