I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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