Cold hands, warm shart.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
