How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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