i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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