Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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