went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
