Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
