Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
