I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
