thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
