I have demons in me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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