I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
