what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dick very happy bro
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
