I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
