i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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