my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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