We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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