happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
In America we eat man semen.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
