My brain says no but my pants say off.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
