dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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