I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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