What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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