I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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