apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
