i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
