Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
