i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
