if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
