I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
