did you get engaged???
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
