I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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