Already got asked if we're dating
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
