big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
