Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
