I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I want is dick and wine.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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