maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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