i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
