The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
