My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
