Acid is not a monday night drug
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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