Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
